Wednesday, February 1, 2023


4 letter words that in my opinion carry more heaviness of other less favorable 4 letter words. Because, instead of a derogatory or harmful nature they carry extreme weight and burden. Especially for a person like me. I am a "fixer".

Fixers are many times the children of addicts. My parents were very young when I was born, still in high school, married and divorced before I was even out of diapers. My birth mother from a very early age was a substance addict who later transferred her drug addiction to a religion addiction. My birth father was an alcoholic. He filled his workday with coffee but the sound of an ice cold beer being cracked open announced he was home. Weekends were slightly different. Coffee until 11 am, then yes, just like weekdays beer until bed or passed out in his chair-whichever came first. I also found out about 2 years before he passed away that he in fact had not given up his need to self soothe with marijuana like I had believed. 

A fixer will physically throw their everything into solving issues. It is our addiction. We will put our own needs, health, and sanity on pause while working on the issue at hand because the reward of the fix. No excuses only solutions and offer more than you take are mantras. 

But even fixers have their limits. Cloudy and often hard to self recognize but they are there none the less. When limits surface fixers find themselves at a crossroads, keep going or stop ,When the fixer is tasked to help or save another person and they finally realize they are unable to complete the task with successful results because the other party continues to self sabotage-the fixer will always choose to simply stop. We will dust the damage off, re-group and move on. 

The fixer then gets pegged as the villain by the person they chose to stop helping. That person cries victim. Unwilling to recognize they in face are not a victim but instead an accomplice to the circumstances they have created and continue to produce. 

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